Right now, my life is a beautiful mess. Everyday, I try to find inspiration. Everyday, I want to be motivated. There are currently a million things that need my attention. Being an adult never seemed fun, but I never knew it would be so exhausting. I try to write something whenever I get time, and just when I sit with my mind is brimming with thoughts and feelings, it all goes away. Everyday, I leave the post in a draft. And today, I wonder, where is all this going?
I don’t want to live a life where I have million things to do – the obligatory, necessary things – and not find time to do what I really want to do. I want to dance without a care in the world, without any rules. I want to read without feeling guilty about the upcoming exams. I want my life to be as beautiful as I imagine it to be, and although I realize it is just wishful thinking, I wonder if it is too much to ask?
I am young, I have (hopefully) a long life ahead of me, and I shouldn’t be worrying about these trivial matters. But, I just wasted the past two years telling myself that there are more important things than joining a club or being social. I’ve blamed the society for my awkwardness these past two years, when in fact, the blame should be on me. I made excuses, I favoured “important, serious” things, and I decided that getting out of college with decent marks is crucial at this point and that fun and relaxation will find my way after that. Maybe, I was wrong, after all.
So what now? How can I turn things around? How do I bring back the aroma back into my life?
“Each day has a colour, a smell.”
I have decided to make this my life motto. Each day begins afresh. We can turn things around, each day, by picking up the pen and writing till your heart bursts, or by playing a song which makes you want to dance till you drop, or just smiling throughout the day like nothing scares you anymore. Maybe you pretend initially, but eventually you’ll be there. Eventually, you’ll turn your life around. Eventually, it will be normal to smile and feel amazing. Eventually, you’ll find your aroma.
In response to the Daily Prompt – Aromatic.