All posts by cnivedita

I'm an 18-year-old dreamer. I believe in work and dedication and love for life.

Make A Wish

Make a wish.
Close your eyes, look into your soul.
And, make a wish.
Find you dreams, within yourself,
and make a wish.

Make a wish.
For your life depends on it.
Make it beautiful, make it yours.
For what you wish for,
echoes forever.

Make a wish.
Have a dream.
Get up, go out and give everything to it.
For through your dreams,
your charm, your wisdom, and your essence,
echoes forever.

– Nivedita
(Daily Prompt)

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Fade A Little

Everyday,
I fade a little.

I try to be strong,
I try to be happy,
but everyday, you remind me,
what I could not be.

I am not brainy,
I am not important.
I am not “like the other girls”,
Everyday,  when you remind me,
I am not worthy of some glee,
I realize I fade a little.

But, everyday you forget,
what I am and what I will be.
I am passionate,
I am exceptional,
and darling, I am
every girl and yet,
like no one else.
And every day, when you forget,
I fade a little.

But, dearest, every time,
you dissolved me in your ignorance,
I found my colour.
Every time, I dwindled,
because of your words,
I found my fading fervour,
growing, strong and intense.

And soon,
I realized, I need
neither your observation,
neither your validation,
because, dear,
I am the fire.
I am the fire that burns.

– Nivedita
(For Daily Prompt)

 

Never Sated

How often do you feel happy and all about your life satiated? How often do you sit peacefully and just take it all in and know I’m empty of any desire? Speaking for myself, I’m never in that state of mind. There is always something which is going on inside me that I want to change or improve about myself or of my surroundings. Being sated with what I have, isn’t a virtue I possess. But then again, isn’t being sated a bit overrated?

When I was little, I was bored of my little world of toys and dresses. I wanted to go outside into the world and be fabulous. I wanted to be like my older cousins who are so independent and confident. I decided that getting older was my ultimate goal and that when I grow up into a fabulous woman, when I become independent (whatever that means) my inner cravings would be sated.

Then, I came into high school. And things became complicated. I found out that if I had to become independent and fabulous, I had to have a job, which means I have to go to college and get a degree. So, my desires changed. Now, I just have to get a degree, how hard could it be? (Hahahaha.) Now, I wanted to just grow old, get a degree, find a job and be fabulous, and I will be satisfied.

When I finished high school, I was happy that I know what kind of major I’ll be and what kind of degree I will get. I knew my plan to get a degree and find a job is going very well, and that I’ll soon be everything I ever wanted to be. I felt like my desires were finally going to be quenched.
Except, life is not so easy. Nobody told me that the price to be independent and fabulous is my precious hours of sleep doing assignments and studying for exams. That, I had to manage the amount of money I spend of clothes and food very carefully – I mean, all these years, I had my parents to do it, why should it be any different now? So, the question is: Would my desires be ever sated? (They better be, because I’m putting in a lot of effort for this degree)

But, here’s what I love about me. I am not a quitter. I don’t lose hope (or, learn my lesson) that easily. My desire to be independent and fabulous maybe a bit unrealistic (any struggling adult will share the sentiment), but it definitely is not impossible. It might be a long way ahead, but it is there.

So, after my desire is satiated, does my wishes and aspirations stop? Not at all. Honestly, for me, new desires begin to crop up, even before my other desires are sated. So, being in a position where my mind is quenched is not a luxury I will enjoy anytime soon. But then, what is the point in being a sated human being? How do you hope for a beautiful life when you are sated? How do you try to improve yourself if you are sated?

As Ashley Judd says,

“I can’t think of anything I want and need that I don’t already have but at the same time, I’m not sated.”

In response to The Daily Prompt